I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
