i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
