Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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