sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
