Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize