We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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