My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
