Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her vagine was all disorganized.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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