When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
