no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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