That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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