too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't want my vagina anymore.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
