I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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