im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
