Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
