Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
