I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
