i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
