people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
