i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
