im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
