$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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