even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
