You kept calling me your small dog last night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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