the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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