god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
