if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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