Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
