new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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