She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We need to get me chipped asap
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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