Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
