ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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