WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
its liver damage thursday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
