There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
