then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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