worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
