doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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