Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
