I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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