I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
