And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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