I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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