So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
