I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
