so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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