If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
