she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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