He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
