she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
