dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
