My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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