The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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